P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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