I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
