my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
