what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
