I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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