Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
