so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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