The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
