Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
