Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I FOUND THE LEGS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
