Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
