I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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