He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
