Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
