I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
