Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
