thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
