And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
