And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
