right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
