do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
