I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
