This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
