some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
