Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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