so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
