I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Pants are for mortals
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
