last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
