We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
