I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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