I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
