FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
