For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
