Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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