After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
