How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
