Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
