wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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