She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When are your genitals available?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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