no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
