For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
