Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
