She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
