hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
where are my eyebrows?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
