let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
