He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
