FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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