how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
