Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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