i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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